Knowing the difference between a coach and a mentor is so important if you need advice, want to make a tough decision, or want a promotion. Sure, you could have both a coach and a mentor, but if you need one or the other, this blog will save you some time, money, and energy.
A coach is trained to listen and ask questions. A good coach asks more questions than gives answers. A great coach asks the questions that you would never think to ask yourself. These are the types of questions that make you think about things in a new way. This brings about deep curiosity and reflection about your life, work, and choices. This great coach knows that you know yourself better than anyone and gives you the space to work out challenges.
A mentor is an expert in the job you want in the future. The mentor has been there, done that. Mentors rely on their experience to give advice. Mentors know how it feels to make the decisions they made, to lead their people, and to navigate relationships within the organization. They have climbed the ladder, communicated with other leaders, and learned how to balance their professional and private lives.
Quick Comparison Table
| Coach | Mentor | |
| Duration | Short-Term | Long-Term |
| Type | Goal-driven | Career-spanning |
| Focus | Present/Future | Past/Experience |
| Approach | Inquiry | Advice |
| Relationship | Guided | Master |
| ROI | Unlocks Potential. Builds self-awareness, emotional intelligence, and leadership habits. | Accelerates Promotion. Provides sponsorship, institutional knowledge, shortcuts to dodge pitfalls. |
Create a quick-reference, side-by-side breakdown
Choosing the Wrong One
Here is what happens when expectations are misaligned. I used a coach to help me become a better manager in the world of professional development. One of my friends had to get a large number of coaching hours, and she said that she wouldn’t charge me. I had a team of trainers, an administrative assistant, and interns. The coach didn’t have the experience of classroom experience or how to lead others.
One of the skills I wanted to learn was how to motivate my team when they were not with me often because they were training all day. Our group kept hearing rumors that we were going to move into a new building and might be able to help design a new training room. That was exciting; however, we didn’t know if that was true, and everyone was dealing with uncertainty.
I desperately needed an industry expert to help me navigate working while trying to visualize our possible move. I needed someone who had been there before and had trainers who met with many people each day and heard these rumors before I did. My coach did help me generate ideas; however, I could have used a mentor to make my experience at work easier.
Remember, you can always change coaches if you don’t connect with the one you choose. You can also change from a coach to a mentor or a mentor to a coach.
Which One Do I Need Right Now?
If you need to decide on choosing a coach or a mentor, here is a decision tree that may help you. It is a start to making your decision. Also, you can always change if you made the wrong decision, or you can have both a coach and a mentor. Some mentors have been trained as coaches, and some coaches could be in your field. This can give you the best of both worlds.
I have a business coach who was also an adjunct professor at a college. It was amazing how she could help me with a psychological block as she put her coaching hat on. She knew when I had the answer inside me. She could also give me advice because she had a similar experience. She helped me start my business when I was also an adjunct professor. She would say, “I’m going to put my mentor hat on now” or “let me coach you through this”. We always knew what kind of support I would get. I am truly blessed to work with her.
My Experience
I am a certified coach, and I’ve been a mentor. When I coach a professional, I ask questions, have them imagine scenarios, and help them solve problems. I try to listen with all of my might and break down what they say, so I completely understand. Many times, I listen for over 5 minutes, then summarize what they said to clarify. If I am correct, I listen for more information or ask more questions. If I did not understand exactly what they meant, I listen and ask more questions to clarify again. I realize that the person I am coaching knows the answers; however, sometimes they don’t know the tough questions to ask. Many times, I ask a question and wait in silence for a while. I also give “homework” to journal because after our coaching session, they have the answer to the question. I call that back burner processing. Their brain is processing the questions asked in the coaching after the session is over.
As a mentor, I also listen, but I ask more questions about their professional goals. I try to make a connection, and I provide examples of what I have done in the past. Usually, my mentee knows my resume. That is how we are matched. The mentee asks for a mentor who has gotten the results that they want. For example, if a mentee would like to go into management and is presently an independent contributor, she would look for a mentor with management experience. Mentors can be in your organization or other organizations. If you are lucky to get a mentor in your organization, they will know the politics and be able to guide you on your path.
Your Next Step
Looking at where you want to be next quarter, do you need someone to give you a map, or do you need someone to help you build your own internal compass? I challenge you to decide to work with a coach or a mentor to help you with your personal or professional development. I know finances can be tight, so if you find a person on a journey to becoming a coach, they may coach you for free to get their hours. Coaches need a certain number of hours to be a certified coach or upgrade their certification. Mentors seldom charge for the experience. In my experience, when I have been asked to be a mentor, I was honored. When I chose a mentor, they were delighted to help.
If this blog post resonated with you, please comment. I’d love to hear your experiences with or as a coach or a mentor. Also, check out the coaching special on my website shop!
#coaching #coach #Mentor #mentee #goalsetting
