Lately, my passion project and I have been locked in an ugly wrestling match, and honestly, the universe feels like the most unfair referee, constantly calling fouls on me. Every single step forward feels like two steps back. I hit a wall, I pivot, and then I slam into another, even harder wall. I always thought I had resilience in spades, a bottomless well of “I’ll figure it out” energy. But lately, that well feels less like a spring and more like a dry, cracked creek bed, and I’m parched. It’s particularly brutal when I teach positivity classes all the time, and here I am, struggling just to feel positive myself.

Never-ending Obstacles

This has been a relentless, soul-crushing cycle. Just when I think I’ve found a workaround, a sliver of hope, a new obstacle appears, often one so bizarre and unpredictable it makes me want to scream. Finding solutions, forcing patience—it’s become a second job, one that pays only in frustration. It’s enough to make you wonder if the cosmos itself is sending a very clear, albeit incredibly frustrating, message: “Hey, maybe take a breather, you desperate fool.”

Take a Break?

And that nagging thought, that whispered fear, has been growing louder and louder: should I finally take a break, or do I just keep pushing until that elusive feeling of “inspired action” decides to grace me with its presence again?

On one hand, pushing through feels like the “right” thing to do, the only thing. Every productivity guru, every self-help book, every single fiber of my being screams about resilience, perseverance, grit, and the absolute importance of showing up even when you absolutely do not feel like it. I even dragged myself to the gym today, my body screaming “no” the whole time, just to prove I could. My biggest, most paralyzing fear is that if I stop, even for a moment, I’ll lose all momentum. This project, which has been my dream for years, will just gather dust in the forgotten corners of my ambition. What if my inspiration never, ever returns? What if this break turns into permanent abandonment, a graveyard for my dreams? The thought alone is gut-wrenching because I help people reach their dreams.  I should know how to do this but I’m at a loss right now.

But then there’s the other side of the coin, the one whispered by my increasingly fatigued, almost broken mind. What if true resilience isn’t about endlessly banging your head against a brick wall until you’re concussed, but about knowing when to finally step back and re-evaluate? What if forcing “action” when I feel completely depleted, when my spirit is running on fumes, is actually counterproductive? What if it’s leading me straight to burnout and a deep, festering resentment instead of progress?

Waiting for Inspired Action

The idea of waiting for “inspired action” feels a bit like waiting for a unicorn to deliver my mail – lovely in theory, but utterly impractical when you’re desperate for a solution. I even tried passively waiting it out, going on a vacation to see my sister, then flying to visit my son in New Jersey! It was fun, sure, but it didn’t magically fix anything with the project. It just felt like I was running away. I think instead, I need to begin actively pausing, not escaping.

Creating Space

Perhaps a true break isn’t about giving up; it’s about creating space. Space for new ideas to finally germinate in my mind. Space for my perspective to slowly shift, to allow me to see things I’m currently too close to comprehend. Space for more resources to find me.  Space for my energy reserves to slowly, painfully replenish. Maybe those walls I’m hitting aren’t meant to stop me forever, but to redirect me, or to signal that I desperately need a different approach—one that can only come from a truly refreshed mind, not one running on fumes and fear.

Recalibrate

So, here’s where I’m at, right now, struggling but trying to find a way forward: I think the universe isn’t telling me to give up entirely, but to profoundly recalibrate. A strategic pause isn’t surrender; it’s a tactical retreat, a desperate attempt to regroup. It’s an opportunity to zoom out, to look at the landscape of my project from a new, clearer vantage point, and perhaps discover a path I couldn’t possibly see when I was so utterly nose-to-the-grindstone, blinded by my own efforts. Sometimes, we’re just too close to our projects, too entangled, and we desperately need another perspective. I’ll continue to journal, but with a more relaxed, less pressured outlook.

Intentional Break

Instead of waiting for a lightning bolt of inspiration or some miracle to happen, I’m going to embrace a conscious, intentional break. This isn’t about abandoning my passion project, the one thing that truly ignites me; it’s about nurturing myself, patching up the frayed edges of my sanity, so I can return to it with some semblance of renewed vigor and clarity. It’s about forcing myself to trust that sometimes, the most productive, the most healing thing you can do, is to simply step away and breathe. Deeply.

Any Advice is Welcome

What about you? Have you ever felt the universe relentlessly nudging you to hit the pause button on something you loved? How did you navigate that crushing feeling? What’s your advice for me? I am seriously, truly, asking for support and advice here.

#passionproject #self-awareness #journaling #decisionmaking #creatingspace